Leah's Song
by uniqueimperfection
Summary: Inspired by the touching song by Rascal Flatts. Jacob is heartbroken. He cannot help but wonder why and what went wrong. He remembers memories of her, and stumbles upon something that tells him there will always be hope and a way to keep her alive.


**Disclaimer: **Don't own Twilight or the Song. Obviously.

**Pixie's Note:** Hey guys! I'm here writing yet another one shot for Leah. I'm not putting this part of Playlist Stories even though it should be. I thought this one had to be separated into its own thing. It just didn't match the mood of Playlist and stuff.

This story is a bit depressing. Believe me I cried listening to the song a few times now but then the idea struck me like lightning when I listening to the lyrics for the longest time.

**Song of Inspiration:** Why by Rascall Flatts. (Lyrics on the end of the story. Please Listen to The Song While Reading this.)

DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! HAPPY READING!!

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_Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song.  
Your beautiful song. Your absolutely beautiful song._

_-Why by Rascall Flatts_

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_**Leah's Song**_

**Jacob POV**

I stood with the crowd of familiar faces. Everyone was crying, if they weren't they were fighting back the tears. I was but they slipped out anyway. Everyone was gathered here, it wasn't a happy celebration but something we all regretted. I stood by my two sisters who cried their eyes out to their husbands. I haven't seen them this broken down since my mom passed away.

My dad was with Sue who was sobbing hard as they stood before the reason why we were all gathered. The elders, all the pack, all the people on the rez and even the Cullens were all here because of her. We were all guilty because we let this happen but nonetheless we gathered no matter what relationship we had with her, what we thought of her, how we felt.

She always said she would one day bring the world together, enemies and friends in La Push. It was a joke, but today it was the truth. She brought together everyone no matter the past they shared they all were gathered here, for her.

"And you will always be remembered, in our hearts. A daughter, a friend and one hell of a troublemaker. May you rest in peace, Leah Marianne Clearwater. We love you." My dad's voice cracked. I knew he was already crying. What he said broke everyone's hearts in two. It felt like a stab in our hearts that we let her slip pass us. The casket that held her beautiful youthful body was slowly began placed six feet under the ground. Sue held the shovel in her hand, taking a huge pile of dirt before throwing it over the casket beginning to bury her daughter next to her husband.

She did that three times, it was for the unspoken I love you she wanted to tell Leah. Then she took the single yellow tulip and throws it down to her. It was what Leah wanted, to be buried next to her Dad with Tulips thrown in with her. She loved yellow tulips, it was her favorite but she once told me it was the flowers Sam gave her the day before they broke up and she thought of the irony that her favorite flowers meant goodbye.

I watched as my dad and the elders took their tulips and tossed it in just as Sue did. Everyone was waiting for Seth to do so but as he stood over the deep hole with tears on his cheeks. His grip on the tulip was so tight it broke in half.

He glanced at it before throwing it down, "I hate you."I heard him whisper before he darted for the woods, tears pouring from his eyes. I watched as the rest of the pack began to do the same, throwing in the flowers then running. In the distance I heard howls. Sorrow and mourning for their lost companion.

I couldn't take it either, I felt guilt and sorrow but worse of all I felt like I could've helped her. I could've done something to stop this, talk her out of it. But despite feeling that, I stayed. I stayed long enough to watch everyone around me walk to her, say short words before throwing the tulip inside. Rosalie was sobbing and so was Alice. Tearless sobs that breaks their hearts. Even Bella showed some despair despite the hate she and Leah had for each other. The Cullens knew I wanted my time alone, Even my imprint understood. It was hard.

I was the last one, the tulip in my hand was perfect. As I stood over her, I was tempted to jump down and open the casket and shake Leah in hopes she would just wake up. But I knew she was gone, long gone.

"It isn't like you to just walk away, Lee. Why did you?"I asked softly gazing down to her casket. I knew she couldn't hear me but I knew someway somehow she could. "I guess Tulips really mean goodbye but I don't want to say goodbye. Sorry, Lee." I finished as I pulled out a letter from my pocket and threw it down to her casket. I loved Leah, more than she ever knew. I could never say goodbye to her. Not even when I knew she already left me.

I split the tulip and placed the actual flower in my pocket. Tucking my hands I left the scene with my head hung low heading towards the woods.

I didn't know how it happened. It happened so suddenly. It made me wonder what was going through her mind when this happened. Were we really that blind? Was she really that deep into the darkness? I'm her Alpha or was, I should've noticed something was wrong. She was my best friend, no she was more than that. And I still didn't see it coming. Was it really that dark that she couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel? That her only choice was to give in and give up?

I finally couldn't contain myself when I reached the woods. I couldn't phase. I wouldn't have the privacy of my mind that I wanted. I broke down, crying as I felt to my knees, yelling at the sky.

"Why"I screamed. "Why did you have to make her life miserable? Why? Why her? Why now?"I screamed but no one answered. I fell on my hands, pounding on the ground as if it was the only way to bring Leah back. I wanted her back, in my arms.

Was there something I could've done to stop it? Something I could've said? It was my fault. I paid less and less attention to her when Nessie was fully grown. Everyone began to go their own ways, I thought Leah was on the right track to getting back the life she missed out on. But I was wrong, and I was too late to realize that I was wrong. I didn't know she was having problems, no one knew. She masked her pain well, she knew how to control what thoughts we see and what we don't. I didn't know, if I knew I would've done everything to stop the girl I love from leaving me forever.

What went wrong? Why did she walk out on life just like she did?

As I cried I remembered the day Leah a few years back, before her Dad died, before Sam Uley broke her heart. She was seventeen then. She was a vision of perfection, beautiful inside and out. Her smile could brighten up a room, it was genuine and pure. She was genuine and pure. She loved to be friends with everyone. She stood up for what was right, fought for the weak and beat the crap out of whoever messed with her. She was smart, compassionate, perfect and had the perfect life. I remember playing baseball with her when we were kids. She was competitive but it was all good sportsmanship in the end. No matter what Leah did, she was good at it. There was nothing Leah Clearwater couldn't do. No man she couldn't have, no worries and no burdens.

I recalled the time the pack went out. It was open mic night at some bar outside of the state. Leah was sober, but she wanted to try it for the hell of it. Said, 'Well they don't know me and they're all fucking drunk as hell so I might as well make a good time out of it and act drunk too.'

She sang two songs, one was Lady Marmalade. Everyone in the bar enjoyed that one, Leah played feisty and playful then. Her second song was something entirely different, she said she wrote it herself for those who once held her heart. When she sang she was golden, she shone bright. But halfway through the song she stopped singing, looked right to Sam, then Embry then me before leaving the stage. She ran away for days then. Didn't come back for a week. We didn't bother looking for her, We knew it would be best to let her leave, give her time alone. But I wanted to know why she left the stage, in the middle of her song. A song she wrote, A song she was going to use as her closure to us three who broke her heart.

I remember when Sam broke up with her, Imprinting on Emily was hard for Leah to take. Then she and I fell in love in the midst of my confusing as hell relationship with Bella. Then I imprinted. Then she had Embry Call to pick up the pieces but he imprinted too and Leah was left with no one but a broken heart. Everyone tried to pick up the pieces. I fought for her to let me back in and I thought she did, but not enough to see how broken she was.

I heard howls in the distance again. I felt a prang of guilt and pain flow through my body again this time stronger than before. I screamed to the sky in frustration and anger. "Goddammit Leah Why? Why the fuck did you leave?"I yelled angry at the sky. I wanted her to answer me. I felt the sky mocking me as no one answered. Tears were pouring on my face, I felt like a sap but it was the only way I could release the tension and not phase. It took a lot for me to not phase. It would only make me feel worse.

I knew as much as I yell and yell to the sky, it wasn't going to bring Leah back. I loved her, and even that wasn't enough to keep her alive it wasn't enough to bring her back now. I fell on my hands yet again, gripping the grass beneath my hands in anger as I sobbed. I let her slip past me, the love of my life died because I didn't do anything to stop her. To stop her from taking that knife, to stop her from taking her own life because we were all so wrapped up in ours.

I stayed there, crying until I could no longer cry. I crawled over to a tree, letting my back find comfort as it leaned against the trunk. I sat there in silence, my arms held my legs against my body. I remembered Leah sitting like this before. I found her sobbing the day Embry imprinted.

As I remembered the past, I remembered Leah. The times I spent with her, the playful arguments we shared, the laughter, the tears, the secret glances, the love, the hate, the friendship. It all went through my mind like a movie. Then, I realized one thing. Where I was now, was Leah's favorite place. The trees all around me swayed softly as the wind blew by.

Leah loved running here, running to a place where she could be alone. Where she could be herself and not have to be Leah the protector or Leah the brokenhearted or Leah the princess once upon a time. Not Leah Uley, Not Leah Call. I wanted her to be Leah Black but fate had other plans.

This was the only place where she could be Just Leah. The sun peaked out from the trees and the clouds, hitting my face softly. I winced at the direct light but scooted to a shadier location. Autumn was suppose to be gloomy but the fact it wasn't made it clear it was Leah's day. She loved the sun in autumn.

I took in the clearing again, The entire center of it was empty but the sun shined down on it. The birds chirped from the trees above as if it had just rained and now the sun was bright out. I took it all in, it was beautiful. I guess I knew why Leah liked it here so much. It was the one place she knew she could think of the world as beautiful and not as bad as it seemed.

I leaned my head back on the truck. The howls disappeared, I'm sure they all went home to whoever to mourn there. I didn't want to go anywhere, I wanted to be comforted by her. I wanted to be with her.

I closed my eyes as I drifted back into thoughts. Why would Leah do this. Why didn't anyone see it. Why, why why? It's what I keep asking but no answers.I didn't understand, it didn't make sense. No one knew that is why.

Maybe because No one cared enough to see the pain, no one cared enough to see the tears, the despair. No one cared enough to watch her closely and protect her.

I didn't want to judge her or explain to myself. I wanted to tell her she was a coward for ditching out life like she did. She wasn't as strong as everyone thought she was. She could only take so much and no one made it easier for her. But what I really wanted to know was who told her she should give up and give in, throw in the towel. Who told Leah Clearwater that life wasn't worth living and wasn't worth the fight?

Whoever said that lied to her. They were wrong. There was so much to life than letting the bad kill you. The bad happens, you live with it for a few days but then you learn to deal with it and you move on. Life goes on.

'You should never give up.' She told me once. 'If everyone gave up then we would all be fucked up idiots.'

A tear slid down my cheek as I recalled that memory. I kissed her that day, her soft sweet lips perfectly fit with mine. It was bittersweet to remember her now. You truly do not know what you have until it's gone. Now I would never get to hold her, love her, marry her. She was gone from my reach, from Sams, From Embrys and everyone else who pushed her away. We pushed her far enough that we couldn't reach out to her when she needed us the most, when she was slowly dying inside trapped in pain.

She was gone, and now all we could do was cry. Mourn for her. Cry because we couldn't save her. We didn't try and now we have all but ourselves to blame.

I opened my eyes, letting everything go again as the tears flowed down my cheeks. In the midst of the blur I spotted something beside me. It was a plastic bag hidden in a small bush. I untied the bag, pulling out familiar shorts and a tank top.

"Lee."I breathed out as I held the clothes to my chest. She hid them here just incase she had to run away from the pain again. Why couldn't she run instead? Run here or to me?

I stained her clothes with my tears before something caught my eye. A small piece of paper dangling from the pocket of her shorts. I wiped the tears away with my sleeve, placing the clothes beside me as I took the piece of paper.

It was a half-sheet of paper and when I saw the writing I immediately knew she had written it.

The beginning was familiar, it was the song she sang before. A song about Sam Uley, Embry Call, and me.

_There's a pain in my heart._

_Buried deep inside of my sould._

_My heart yearns to be loved once more._

_In your eyes I could forever live. _

_You promised me forever._

_We had a picture perfect future waiting for us. _

_But you broke my heart._

_Left me shattered._

_And Yet you begged me to stay. _

_You promised me you would be different._

_We hoped for a perfect future for the both of us._

_But just like the last you left me alone. _

_You broke my heart._

_Left me to myself yet again._

_I thought you were the one but I was wrong. _

_You came along and picked up the pieces._

_They said the third time was the charm._

_We wanted a picture perfect future._

_But just like the last two I was broken once again. _

_I wanted him back into my life but it was too late._

_My love will always be there._

_For him, for them. _

_But I guess I don't get a fairytale love story_

_It was my fault I stopped believing in fairytales when I was seven._

_I guess I should've known better. _

_Than to let my heart be broken. _

_I see the darkness all around me. _

_No ones there to save me._

_I guess this would be my last song._

_To remember the good days and the bad._

_To remember you and I once upon a time. _

_Now that this song had run its course_

_So have our love. _

_So have I. _

_And this is my final farewell to you._

_My almost love. _

_My almost picture perfect future. _

I saw a water mark appear on the paper, my tears falling again. More fluidly than before. If only I knew Leah felt like this. If only I knew the reason why she walked away was because of this because of me, because of everyone.

It wasn't like Leah Clearwater to walk away, she would have a hell of a reason to walk away. She walked away the day she sang the song because she knew it wasn't complete, that she didn't have a reason to walk away from life just yet because then we cared in someway and we showed it. Now, I'm having doubts.

I searched for something to write with, lucking out by finding a pen in the bag. On the very end of the paper was where I started to write. Leah would kill me if she knew this, hell I'm sure she would visit me in her ghostly form picking fights with me. Was it weird I wanted her to?

_My soul is now free. _

_Free from the shackles it once held me by. _

_Wrapped in angels wings._

_I no longer feel pain and I see beauty. _

_I'll forever live on in my song._

_In the hearts of those willing to listen to it. _

I smiled lightly at the finished work. It wasn't poetic like Leah's but wasn't bad either.

I looked back to when Leah was seventeen, then to the day she first sang the song. I would always remember Leah Clearwater. My best friend, my almost love, my beta, my everything, my soul mate.

I slipped the lyrics in my pocket. Leah's Beautiful song, her soul poured out into a piece of paper. The last living bit of her I have. She lived through her words. Her lyrics and the memories I have of her.

And everyone will hear it, know about it and let her live through them through her song.

They were right when they said you don't really know you have something good until it's gone but at the same time, I know I can keep her alive with me.

She would be alive. In my heart, my soul and in her absolutely beautiful song.

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**Pixie's Note:** I cried when I actually re-read this. I'm sorry if this brings anyone to tears. Excuse some of my mistakes. I wrote this quite late at night and wanted to get the thoughts of my brain before it passes me. I guess I drew this all out from the song and from my own personal sadness.

Also YES! I did write Leah's so called song. I wrote it as I was writing this story. The idea flowed. It wasn't a song exactly seeing as there was no chorus but I image it was a draft of some sort Jake found.

Please Review. It'll make me feel tons of amazing things!

**PIXIE OUT CIAO**

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**LYRICS: **Why by Rascal Flatts

It must have been a place so dark you couldn't feel the light,  
Reaching for you through that stormy cloud.  
Now here we are gathered in our little home town.  
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd.

Oh, why, that's what I keep asking.  
Was there anything I could have said or done.  
Oh, I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul.  
God only knows what went wrong.  
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song.

Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old.  
Rounding third to score the winning run.  
You always played with passion, no matter what the game.  
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun.

Oh, why, that's what I keep asking.  
Was there anything I could have said or done.  
Oh, I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul.  
God only knows what went wrong.  
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song.

Now the oak trees are swaying in the early autumn breeze.  
The golden sun is shining on my face.  
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing  
This whole world really ain't that bad of place

Oh why, there's no comprehending.  
And who am I to try to judge or explain  
Oh, but I do have one burning question  
Who you told you life wasn't worth the fight  
They were wrong, they lied.  
Now you're gone, and we cried

Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song.  
Your beautiful song. Your absolutely beautiful song.


End file.
